Recently, I visited two dear friends of mine – a married couple of 10 years. I am always interested in the interactions of married couples because I want to learn and apply lessons learned to my own relationships. The gentleman kept asking his wife to refrain from using the word “little” when she spoke. She would say “I have a little job” or “We have done a little bit to fix up this house” or “We’re going to live on a little boat”. The word "little" means small in size, amount, or degree. The gentleman emphasized that throughout her whole life, his wife had minimized everything – her accomplishments, her worth, etc.
When you listen to yourself talk, try to notice if you use these words. Also try to notice if you use these words when you talk to other people to describe their efforts or contributions. Notice if you use this word to describe your belongings. Notice similarly if you use the word “big” or any of its synonyms to describe what you perceive to be letdowns, mistakes or failures.
Words do matter. Our words are often a reflection of our thoughts. My advice is to look at your accomplishments with pride. If you cannot recognize each accomplishment as a significant step, then you may not keep going to the top. Look at the things you have with pride and recognize that they are enough for you; your belongings do not need to be compared to other’s belongings or minimized. Look at the seemingly negative moments (I call them life’s lessons) and learn from them rather than dramatizing them.
Think of when you take medicine or when you bake something. The amount of medicine you take or the amount of the ingredients you use is not “little” or “big”. It is just right for the recipe. The present need not be minimized or inflated. It is what it is and it should work for you.
Choose your words carefully. This big (I almost said little) change will improve your self esteem and make you much happier. Believe in self!
Ms. Bhakti Mary
I am an optimistic, positive, generous and driven woman who is passionate about self-improvement.
The essence of who you are does not lie in the past. What matters is what you are willing to do NOW. You are the presence.